conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Couldn't resist - still in China - Bugger. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Yep, where is it???????????????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Sorry - can't check from Coventry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, and why are you in Coventry if you cann't check from there? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, and why are you in Coventry if you cann't check from there? You clearly have never been sent to Coventry.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, and why are you in Coventry if you cann't check from there? You clearly have never been sent to Coventry.... Nope, tell us..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, and why are you in Coventry if you cann't check from there? You clearly have never been sent to Coventry.... Nope, tell us..... GIYF Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalboy 2 Posted May 6, 2012 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, and why are you in Coventry if you cann't check from there? You clearly have never been sent to Coventry.... Coventry, know it well !!! get sent there once every month by the missus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 What the fuck is in Coventry?????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalboy 2 Posted May 6, 2012 What the fuck is in Coventry?????? Its an English thing !!!!!!!!!! GIYF Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 I’ve been thinking a lot about the state of our relationship over the past few days. Of course her aim, with this silent treatment, may be to make me do just that. I try to make small talk with her. But she has sent me to Coventry. This is a funny expression that English people like to use. Coventry is a small city in Warwickshire, England, known for its manufacturing industry and for its two Cathedrals: the modern one was built in 1962 to replace its predecessor, which was destroyed in a German bombing raid in 1940. The phrase though, probably dates back events during the English Civil War (c.1648). [origins of this phrase] My point here is that this particular type of bad behaviour is a least a couple of hundred years old. Can it really be true that no one, in all this time, has worked out a way of saying “Hey ! This really isn’t going to make anything any better now, is it?” We are by no means unique in failing to communicate in our relationship. I came across a blog by Miss Scribbler the other day [sellotaped together relationship] . She deals, in a remarkably frank way, with issues including communication, sex, and caring that have also affected my own relationship. But the silent treatment, it seems to me, is a peculiar type of dysfunctional behaviour. To elect not to communicate, to retreat into oneself, and cut the connection with your partners thoughts and feelings, is to deny the possibility of understanding, of love, and of caring. Some years ago I went through some similar stuff with my first wife. Of course, my current partner knows this and points to this as evidence that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, as two otherwise sane women have been reduced to treating me in the same crappy way. I’m not convinced. I’m really not, in any way that I can see, really desperately flawed. Oh, I’m not perfect, but I’m, you know – okay. So if I do something that’s annoying sometimes, or if I don’t seem to think just the way they do, even if its an aspect of my character, I’m really expecting other people to show me the same kind of tolerance and kindness that I try to show them. When I think of it that way, then the silent treatment really seems to be a betrayal. I don’t think that you can talk your way out of every problem in a relationship. I went through break-ups and counselling and reconciliation and support with my first wife. I haven’t blogged about that (yet), but I recognise some parallels with the experiences described in this blog [A journey through couples therapy] . But for sure, you can’t “not talk” your way out either. And not talking seems like one of the fastest and most effective ways to increase the emotional distance and break down the links between you. In my experience, it’s during those times of “not talking” that history gets re-written. Good memories get replaced with bad. Love gets forgotten, and loathing increased. Caring gets replaced with contempt, and the values and behaviours that bind a relationship together: loyalty, empathy and forgiveness, are percieved as signs of weakness instead of strength. But I can’t say this to her. I may think I have the moral high ground, but this won’t help me bridge the gap between us. I’ll try to wait my time for now. To speak to her gently. To be caring. Avoid addressing the issue head-on. I’ll give her time, and hope that she tires of the effort it takes to keep up this wall of silence. And that I can say the right things when she is ready to listen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 I tried at the weekend - got her so excited she lost the place in the book she was reading - TWICE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 I tried at the weekend - got her so excited she lost the place in the book she was reading - TWICE You tried, now stop trying and just do it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalboy 2 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalboy 2 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P Optimist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P I only get a blow job when she has something stuck in her teeth Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P I only get a blow job when she has something stuck in her teeth Is your winkie that thin that she can use it to floss? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalboy 2 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P I only get a blow job when she has something stuck in her teeth Stop feeding her spinach... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conx 0 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P I only get a blow job when she has something stuck in her teeth Is your winkie that thin that she can use it to floss? Saves on toothpicks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onzenuub 309 Posted May 6, 2012 Just do her and she will start talking What and start her talking again...............are you NUTS !!!!!.............only just got her to fucking shut up... Let her give you a blow job, that will shut her up again :P I only get a blow job when she has something stuck in her teeth Is your winkie that thin that she can use it to floss? Saves on toothpicks Cheap bastard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
