Top-10 most embarrassing Rolexes ever

[By-Tor 0]

NOTE: This is written tongue-in-cheek and shouldn't be taken dead seriously. I was bored and just typed in some humorous rant. If your watch is on the list, don't take it personally. It's kinda "attempted satire", based only on my subjective opinions. Feel free to disagree.

 

So here we go...

 

 

MOST EMBARRASSING ROLEXES EVER:

 

1. Yacht-Master II

This looks like a Canal Street piece of shit. The designer must have been on some heavy drugs. Completely tasteless, gaudy and plain fuck*ng ugly POS. The designer of this watch should be jailed. This is a crime against humanity and Kim Jong-Un has shot people for lesser crimes. Invicta is one of the most embarrassing marquees and even they couldn't have put out watch this ugly. They're asking what... $20K for this?

 

2. Yacht-Master two-tone with brown bezel

Honestly... this one looks LITERALLY like a piece of dog turd.

 

3. Hulk

GREEN dialed Submariner! It's not even that "ugly" per se... but has quickly become the ultimate douchebag Rolex. Idiots in the local gen watch community (that I frequent) has a lot of Hulk buyers. They pose with their tuned up Beemers and post wrist shots of Hulk. They don't usually know anything about watches... or even Rolexes for that matter... but they bought the Hulk because it says Rolex on the dial, they want to show that they have money and their golf friends have them too. They call them "Hulksters". Wimps!

 

4. Batman

How can you f*ck up GMT Master any worse? First install ugly fat case, then polish the middle links and then attach blue and black bezel... destroying all great decades old traditions of this watch. It's Pepsi and it should NOT have anything polished. The standard new black GMT already bored me to death but "Batman" is even worse. And what a ridiculous nickname... "Batman". Jokers!

 

5. Any classic sports Rolex with diamonds

It's like getting a very expensive, restored classic Mercedes SL Pagoda or Jag E-Type and then install spoiler kit on them... and then paint 'em pink. Even Liberace knew better and would have stayed away from these.

 

6. Yacht-Master

I had the Rolesium rep and I wore the gen for a few days (swapped watches with a friend). I can live with the Rolesium as it's the least unattractive of them. But my God how plain awful combinations there are. Anything two-tone is usually just horrendous. YM is just Submariner with tasteless bling. Why do they call it "Yacht Master"? Because fat, old, rich guys with no taste can wear these on their yachts and impress the hookers.

 

7. Leopard Daytona

Neil always called it "Gaytona". Enough said.

 

8. DeepSea

I have no doubt that it's a good and capable dive watch but my God it's UGLY as sin. Small children should not see this watch as it's so painfully ugly.

 

9. Sky-Dweller

Yeah it can set the month date correct automatically. Great! Just like my Casio. What this has to do with Dwelling in the sky? What a pretentious watch. What next? Cave Dweller, Fire Dweller, Lake Dweller, Ass Dweller?

 

10. Daytona (post El Primero)

Daytona doesn't really deserve to be on this list because I respect the movement and quality. It's a good watch no doubt. But it's also the most overhyped watch ever. I had the rep and one of my good friends has white gen. I see it almost weekly. If you have a bit larger wrist, try wearing Ebel BTR, any Breitling chrono or even PO Chrono and then put Daytona on. You'll be seriously underwhelmed. The dial is pale, plain, it wears extremely small and looks very old fashioned (in a boring way). That smooth bezel and relatively huge pushers make it feel even smaller. Not an ugly watch and I respect it... but it just bores me to death.

 

Flame on (ducks for cover).

[Crowsnest3000 0]

Lol

 

Love number 9, "just like my casio" fair point though.

 

I would go for an Omega Globemaster if I had the choice, or maybe just buy another casio.

[NCRich 13,751]

I like the batman and the hulk. But I'd agree pretty much with the rest. My batman is one of my most worn watches. On jubilee its a nice summer watch.

 

[By-Tor 0]

Yeah it's not an ugly watch at all. It's not that.

 

I just feel like they screwed up GMT Master in a big way and that color combo doesn't have any traditions. It's like Porsche 996. It's a great car and definitely much better than the old models... but it was a big departure from the classic. Water cooled engine, fugly headlights, etc. No surprise that they're dirty cheap right now. It's a great car for money. Not just a classic.

 

That might me ok. But this is just... awesome. They fucked up the GMT (imho).

 

[NCRich 13,751]

Yeah it's not an ugly watch at all. It's not that.

 

I just feel like they screwed up GMT Master in a big way and that color combo doesn't have any traditions. It's like Porsche 996. It's a great car and definitely much better than the old models... but it was a big departure from the classic. Water cooled engine, fugly headlights, etc. No surprise that they're dirty cheap right now. It's a great car for money. Not just a classic.

 

That might me ok. But this is just... awesome. They fucked up the GMT (imho).

 

 

Oh I've built many of those.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just a few of them. Got a Panam I am working on now.

[By-Tor 0]

Cool. That all black is the nicest one.

 

I should have bought a 1675 but I bought the 16710. This ok but not as nice as the old one. I'll get a 1675 eventually.

 

[NCRich 13,751]

1675 takes quite a bit of work to get it looking right. I've done about 10 and I'm just getting it right. Of course it depends on what you want.

[By-Tor 0]

CG's is always the issue, even with the best builds. 1675 cg's are square and longish (they reach almost top of the crown). But it's hard to mod them if you don't have enough metal available like on those dealers' POS offerings (that use Sub cg's).

[NCRich 13,751]

They actually came several different ways. But they are all hard to mod with our current offerings.

[Genius 281]

Cool. That all black is the nicest one.

 

I should have bought a 1675 but I bought the 16710. This ok but not as nice as the old one. I'll get a 1675 eventually.

 

I actually prefer the 16710 best GMT they ever made....

 

Will probably have changed my mind again by next week and want a 1675 again.............

[By-Tor 0]

Yeah grass is always greener on the other side... or other watches are always nicer on someone else's wrist.

[Undinist 20]

I don't see why the Pepsi colours are superior to blue-black. GMT has had a range of other colours over the years...a new colour is only new for a while, then it becomes vintage and perhaps more acceptable to the cognoscenti? I bet people hated the root beer when it came out. What's the feeling about it now? I'd love one. http://robertmaron.com/images/D/RX1765GMTSSYG-02.jpg

[By-Tor 0]

I still hate the Root Beer GMT. It's fugly and I would never wear one.

 

It should have been in the "bubbling under" section after the writeup. But hey... that's just one guy's opinion, nothing more.

[RepGuy 108]

I may be the minority, but I agree that the Daytona is shit. I get the originals and their cult status, but I just don't like vintage watches, so while I can appreciate and respect those, I would never buy one.

My problem is what they have become and the lack of innovation (which can be said for many brands/models). These two factors put me off of any modern styles of the Daytona

[NFleischer 4,355]

I agree with most on the list. I do like the Hulk, the rep is very well done. Also I like the Batman, all way over priced gens IMO.

[By-Tor 0]

Yeah. I'm also a classic car enthusiast. I only own a lowly Porsche 928 S4 at the moment but I do respect a lot of Jags, Mercs and Porsches. And boy... I totally understand why Ferrari Daytona is what is... and why it's so desirable and crazy expensive. I undestand why old 911's and Jags raise in value... they're f*ccking beautiful classics.

 

But I don't get Paul Newman Daytonas. No way. That's nothing special. Of course there is the demand but still.... worth several millions or whatever. And Rolex fanboys praise how awesome it is. I don't get it... I could understand paying 2 mil for Napoleon's old Breguet... but that Daytona is just fucking boring.

[By-Tor 0]

I agree with most on the list. I do like the Hulk, the rep is very well done. Also I like the Batman, all way over priced gens IMO.

 

That's very good point. Excellent buys as reps. Only hate the gens. Ridiculously overpriced.

 

Yeah Rolex introduced that XXL case. But take a gen Steelfish and put it next to Rolex... Rolex is still a wimpy watch. Old Rollies were classcally wimpy... just like old Porsche 911. It's not fast... a family Merc C wagon with some bigger engine can outperform it and run circles around it on a track. But there's the spirit, the noise, everything. They're classics. Hulk and Batman will never become classics... neither will the C Wagon Merc (I drive one at the moment by the way).

[Nikosaldente 630]

[Left Coast Guy 24]

Wait.....this was supposed to be "humorous"...?

[By-Tor 0]

Wait.....this was supposed to be "humorous"...?

 

Yeah.

 

But I admit... It should have contained a disclaimer.

 

THIS:

 

Disclaimer*

 

*If the writeup insults someone's watch (or feelings) I'm ready and willing to send a few virtual spare tampons to everyone offended.

[Left Coast Guy 24]

[seanjames 2]

I detest Rolex...

Or more likely I detest the people who wear them, a GEN says look at me I've got money or the ability to look like I have money, a REP says I've got barely any money but I like to look like I have, I really detest those that buy a REP with the fake cards & boxes, like they are going to lie to even there friends to create an impression of wealth!

Most Rolexs look like cheap Argos watches anyway

[By-Tor 0]

 

Wow, animated meme. That's advanced.

 

I can't duplicate that but I have this.

 

[Moondustesp 136]

Well fuck off back then!

[Undinist 20]

Very disappointed that By-Tor or his snow dog haven't mentioned the TRUE Gaytonas, the rainbow ones. The leopard Daytona surely deserves its own specific sobriquet, related to cats or spots or something. And the rainbow Daytonas are arguably even worse.

 

Also very disappointed that nobody has replied to this other thread which I put so much work into http://www.rwg.bz/board/index.php?showtopic=132920&view=findpost&p=2018421